Comments that were common included:
- The need to name characters - this is important because, in a script, it gives the character more importance in the film, whereas just calling them "MAN 1" implies that they are just bystanders who almost have no real significance. However, in my opening, I want to make it clear to the audience that these two character are incredibly important in the film. Therefore, the need to give them names are important. Here are my name ideas:
MAN 1 will be called Sean Saunders, which he will be referred to as 'Mr Saunders' during this opening extract.
MAN 2 will be called Hugh Banes which he will be referred to as 'Dr Banes' throughout this opening extract.
- Application of correct structure/text - this will make the script an easier read, as well as making it more professional and understandable. This is an important aspect of script writing which I must get the hang of.
Other comments I received were:
- "I think one flashback would be better, as you risk confusing the viewer" - this is a good suggestion because the idea is to present my ideas clearly. This is definately something which I will take into account. They also added "if you are going to use two, perhaps only use sounds for the first one and build up to a full flashback for the second. Again this is something I will think about as it's adding tension to the film as it's building up the sequence.
- "I like how you've started and ended the film in the same way by referring to the lamp. This makes me feel like it has a meaning, and makes me want to watch more"
- "Good use of a close up on the watch. It's planting seeds for further into the film"
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